Hellohellohello guys and girls! I’m very disappointed in myself to say that I didn’t get to do a 7th December blogmas blog post yesterday! I’m  rubbish, I know.  I just got so carried away in my search for Christmas gifts that, once I realised what the time was, it simply felt too late to post. However, I’m hoping this post makes up for it and that all zero of you that were anticipating a post from me yesterday can forgive me. Please? I’m sorry.

I’m going to get very real with you here and pour my heart out a little bit. You’ve been warned.

As much as I love Christmas and as excited as I am for it, my excitement sometimes gets a bit dampened each year. It’s been that way for years. I could never really figure out why, I just found it all a bit depressing. Which, obviously, makes absolutely no sense. How could the happiest time of the year be depressing? I thought there was something wrong with me. Eventually, though, I managed to put my finger on why I end up feeling sad whilst every one else is at their happiest, most excitable mood.

Christmas makes me immensely nostalgic. How is that a bad thing? you may ask. Well, it’s not. Except when you’re nostalgia results in missing someone/a period of time so much that you feel bad for enjoying yourself. Get where I’m going with this?

As soon as Christmas rolls around I can’t help but think about all of the loved ones I have lost. It can sometimes almost feel selfish to enjoy myself without them. One of the hardest hitting reminders is not receiving a Christmas card or realising you can’t write one out for them… because they aren’t here anymore. The worst always, always seems to happen around this time of year too. So, it’s almost as though I get nervous and anxious every Christmas just in case something bad happens.

So, I’m going to leave you with this message on the subject. A message that I have to remind myself of: There is absolutely no harm in missing your loved ones. Cry if you need to. Be upset if you need to. Have a day in bed. It’s healthy. It’s normal. It’s expected. After that? You just have to keep moving. There’s no way they would want you to ruin your Christmas experience over your sadness for losing them. Be nostalgic. Have a drink in their memory. Look at old photos. Just don’t isolate yourself to feeling upset and like Christmas is pointless now. Don’t feel guilty. Let your feelings swallow you whole and then allow them to spit you out. Don’t suffer in silence, something I am most familiar with. Talk about it, talk about them. Love them, remember them and commemorate them by letting yourself enjoy Christmas as best you can.

On a cheerier note – I’ve started reading a new book (although I shouldn’t as I already have about a million books in my Kindle library that I’ve started and not finished but what can ya do!). It’s ‘Talking as Fast as I Can – Lauren Graham’ Yep! You’re correct. The Lauren Graham. Aka the babe that plays/is basically the same person in real life anyway as Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls. I’m just so obsessed. I plan to do a review on it as soon as I’ve finished. I’m only a few chapters in so far and I’ve already cracked up laughing all the way through and keep having to pause to re-read the funniness to my boyf (who also appreciates the humour!).

To update you on how my Christmas gift finding is going: ok… ish? I’m still hugely struggling on what to get the guys in my life but I’ll get there… I hope. *Gulps* I’m also going to the cinema tomorrow night to watch Sully with my boyfriend (we were supposed to go today but um I kind of basically, pretty much, massively overslept due to reading my bestie Lauren Grahams thoughts until the early hours of tha morn’). So we’re going tomorrow instead. My boyfriend is quite a big Tom Hanks enthusiast so he’ll definitely enjoy it. I’ll let you know how it goes!

In other news, my brothers fiancée went out last night to run some errands and she bought me the cutest Christmas PJ set by surprise! I loooved Winnie the Pooh as a kid, especially Tigger and I even have a mug that I’ve had for absolutely donkeys years to match! (get it, donkeys? Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh?!)

Just a random little side note, I am definitely going to try this: 


Aaaaand here’s the 7th AND 8th daily advent jokes – what a treat for you all!

Dun, dun, duuuunnnnnnn… (that’s supposed to be that dramatic sound effect you hear e v e r y w h e r e)

Does Christmas bring back bitter sweet memories for you? Are you a Christmas kind of person? What book(s) are you currently reading? Let me know in the comments below and I will most definitely reply 🙂

~ Emma, the girl that just poured her heart out to you and should really get some reading done xo

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Writing: posts about my life (that may or may not be TMI at times, soz) | current affairs | reviews on film/tv, products and books | any random subject that comes to mind | I also dabble a little in poetry

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