HEY, HI, HELLOOOO GANG aka random person that happened to stumble upon my blog post and kept reading (bless you – I greatly appreciate it). My last post was in December. So, it’s been a year since I last posted. Hahahaha. Yes, I know those types of puns are awful but let me amuse myself. Since I last talked to myself on here I’ve celebrated Christmas, New years and MY 22ND BIRTHDAY!! Ugh. 22. How did that happen? I say celebrated but it’s actually quite the sad story. You’ll see what I mean if you keep reading. You may or may not know this but in December I had a crack at the whole Blogmas shindig. It’s safe to say I failed tragically but I have my reasons!
Hear Read me out!
My last post on 12th December 2016 is basically dedicated to the Chinese I ordered that night. Listen, I love Chinese food, alright? Don’t judge me. So anyway, we’ll skip over that one. The second to last post I made (a joint post for 10th and 11th December) is me detailing a bit about my experience at the first ever work related party/work Christmas party I’ve been to. How is this relevant? You ask… or maybe and most likely you didn’t but I’m going to tell you anyway. Well ladies, gentlemen, gentle people and/or all matter of beings alike, I didn’t wear my jacket all night!!! That cute lil’ Topshop denim jacket with the faux fur you see in the pictures from that post (which is really a rookie haul of sorts)?
It sat on a chair the whoooooooole night. Not even my chair, might I add. My jacket sat on someone else’s chair all night whilst I paraded around the cold hall and outside, mingling and dancing my tootsies off. Again, And?! What does this have to do with anything?! You probably don’t ask, again. Patience is a virtue, my friend. I like to build suspense. It makes for really anticlimactic endings and reactions of underwhelm. What can I say? I’m a sadist. I’m also digressing.
SO, I spent the next couple days slightly hungover, writing and making plans to write. Then, I started to feel really groggy and evidently I had a cold. What started as a cold, at least. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! Suspense. So, I had this cold for like two weeks which is a really long time to have a cold, especially considering I normally rid them in a few days. I started to get better and basically got better until, out of nowhere, I lost my voice at work. Then, I kept losing it. Honestly, I lost my voice for a whole day. That has literally never happened to me. I literally got told I sounded like Louis Armstrong. Which, let me say, is a compliment of the highest regard if I wanted to pursue a career in music. However, as a gal not pursuing music, you can see why I’m using this as comparison factor.
With all of this in mind, I kept going to work and soldiered through it. I also still had to buy a ton of Christmas presents, which, you may know this already if you’ve read my previous posts, I struggled with for weeks. Update: I outdid myself this year gift wise! Yay! Come Christmas eve, I was massively stressed out all day at work like to a ridiculous extent. I cried and my manager gave me chocolate to make me feel better. Yeah, one of those kinda days. Towards the end of my shift I started to feel really awful, my body was killing me and I was starting to get crazy sensitive to lights. ”I’m just tired” I thought. Ha! Don’t be so naive, December 2016 Emma. I got into bed and cried to my boyfriend because I was really hungry but I only fancied turkey. Yep. Turkey. My boyfriend proceeded to put up with me and tell me that I’d be getting turkey for Christmas dinner the following day. SPOILER ALERT: I DIDN’T GET TO EAT THE TURKEY THE NEXT DAY. READ ON! I then went on to blow dry my body, my bed and all SIX of the duvets I decided to use because I was absolutely freezing. Anyone that knows me will know how unlike me this is. I’m literally a human furnace, usually. Seriously, it snowed the other day and I kept my window open during it. So, this should’ve probably been the first proper indication that I was getting ill again.
See pictures: P.S I’d just gotten out of the shower and I’m smiling but very sad inside:
Come Christmas day, I couldn’t eat any of my dinner which was honestly so traumatic. I also ended up going back and forth to bed all day and night. I forced myself to man through it and socialise as we had family over, resulting in wearing my boyfriends new £40 dressing gown I bought him and borrowing my soon-to-be sister-in-law’s prescription sunglasses. Such a splendid sight. See me in the next issue of Vogue.
Here’s me sporting a basically identical look a few years ago except I wasn’t ill, I was hungover:
Over the period of the next three weeks after Christmas day, I kept waking up during the night, literally having to change clothes and mop myself up because I was sweating so bad at the same time as being freezing cold. A little TMI but ya get it. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I didn’t eat anything more than two kiwis, a banana and a slice of toast over a four day period in that time. Everything I ate tasted like garbage and honestly I just couldn’t keep it down, if you catch my drift. I’m gross, you get it. I honestly slept days and days away for like two weeks straight. I felt so sorry for myself, you guys. When I did manage to stay awake for longer than five minutes I laid in bed listening to hypnosis lullaby’s on YouTube. I honestly couldn’t do anything else on my phone or anything because the light was unbearable even with sunnies on and brightness down!
AND THEN – BAM! Chest infection. I managed to drag myself to the doctors in time for my doctor to sign me off work for two weeks, thankfully. I was diagnosed with gastric flu and a chest infection. I had to take antibiotics and didn’t get to celebrate properly aka chug rum and cokes to my hearts content for Christmas, New Year or my birthday. Yay me! I’ve taken all my antibiotics now and I’m due to return to work this Friday (20th January). I’ve almost had a month off work peeps. It’s going to hurt my soul to be going back.
On another note, it’s so weird knowing that I’m 22. Like, I feel exactly the same but knowing I’m 22 is weird. How did I get here? Where am I? Who am I? What am I? Weird, is what I am. I know.
So yeah, I hope you thoroughly enjoyed the thousand word summary about my sniffles. Feel sorry for me yet? Thanks. I left out the goriest details in an attempt to be just a little classy. I’ve made this post humorous but I really did feel awful! Woe is me. I’m basically all good to go now, just got a little cough still that’s refusing to move on with its life but heyho! The good thing about having so much time slobbing around the house is that I’ve had plenty of time to come up with new ideas to write about and I’m excited! I’m thinking my next post or one of will be a lil’ haul on what I got for my birthday and/or Christmas but we’ll see!
If you’ve gotten to the end of this pointlessly long post, well done for staying tuned! You must’ve been very bored. I’m not complaining though, please come again!
Seriously though, thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more posts in the very near future – There’ll be plenty! I’m back!
~ Emma, the girl that can write a thousand word essay about having flu but can’t put the words together to write about things of actual importance. xo